The Inner Piece

The Outer Peace

Mama said there wouldn’t be days like this. October 23, 2009

Filed under: Evergreen, In My Life — josahlin @ 2:27 pm

If you’re at Evergreen:

and a teacher says “fair effort,” something is wrong.

and a teacher says, “you’ll want to know this, if for no other reason than that it will be on the test.”

and a teacher says, “you can’t do that project; that’s not what we’re studying in this class” or “that’s not what we’re interested in.”

and you don’t feel creative

or you feel restricted

or you’re not sure where you’re going

or you don’t feel like you can talk to your faculty…

I say, GET OUT NOW. Problem is, that would be hypocritical, because I’m stuck in that situation and CAN’T get out. At least, not without dropping 12 credits, which is extremely problematic.

 

La-la-la-la-lovely August 15, 2009

Filed under: Evergreen, In My Life — josahlin @ 6:13 pm
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I just finished making a batch of delectable wheat-free almond spice cookies. They’re positively amazing, not to brag or anything. They’re better than any of the wheat-free cookies I’ve ever had, and better than any of the cookies I’ve had made with rice flour, which is very heavy and leaves a questionable aftertaste. I found the recipe in one of my mom’s Yoga Journals and made them with millet flour, tapioca flour, and potato flour starch, along with many spices and sugar and yumminess.

Turns out, they’re not as good the next day. But I remain impressed with myself that I actually got off my ass and made something that I’m proud of. yay me!

I’ve been so extremely lazy lately. I’m housesitting and don’t have internet at the house, so all I can do is walk the dog and play with her, read, and watch tv, and I can write articles if I happen to get an assignment.

Ew. I’m sitting in a coffee shop and all these people are around me with whom I went to school for various years are talking and they’re loud and sigggghhhhhhh. I’m pretty sure they all go to U of I now. And this girl is dressed like she’s a freshman in high school, yet she just announced that she’s “technically a junior” in college. She dropped one of her majors and moved up, apparently. I am SO glad I don’t have to worry about all that crap. People give me funny looks when I tell them I don’t have majors or grades or anything, but it is a complete blessing.

You know that science class you took in high school, with that science teacher you didn’t particularly care for, in which you had to memorize all those chemicals and then get tested on them, where you have to pass in order to receive a very meaningless letter grade that is your ticket to the next dull, tedious class that you may or may not have any interest in? And then, to your horror, it continues in college! College, where you are supposed to be able to choose whichever classes you like, and you are guaranteed to like them since they fit your major! But noooo, you have to go through more and more meaninglessness with those stupid required classes that may or may not have anything to do with your desired path of study and subsequent career, but you are assured that “at some point” they will be relevant, just like many teachers in high school told you that “one day” that math would come in handy. ha.

I love my school.

 

The Bellow of the Blast June 1, 2009

Filed under: Evergreen, In My Life — josahlin @ 8:00 pm

Procrastination, take 2.

Today my class program put on Oedipus Rex, and I played Creon in the first third. It was a success, and we just got done with our cast party. We broke off early because we all had to write a 20 page paper by tomorrow. YIKES. 

Luckily, mine is on music (specifically, singing), and I’m very excited about it… however, I just cannot get started with a good lead to get me really into it. I’m toying with the idea of taking adderall, but my parents said that would kind of be a cop-out, so I’m attempting to do what I can without it. Which, so far, isn’t much.

It honestly isn’t for lack of trying this time– I must have fifty beginnings in the works, but alas, all have come to naught.

Anyway, I will post it when I’m done, and probably keep you updated. 

Does anyone have their own tactics on how to get started on essays, or articles, or any creative endeavor?

Title courtesy of Gilbert & Sullivan.

 

Wear Your Love Like Heaven March 2, 2009

Filed under: Evergreen, In My Life — josahlin @ 12:20 am
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As I’d anticipated, my class IS killing me this quarter. Luckily, that project we have to do is a little more enjoyable since my subject is my Godmother, Rita Wilde. I have to write a 10 to 20 page paper and do the project part. So I’m putting together a magazine-ish newsletter-ish thing, with a clip of one of her shows for the audio part, if I can. I’m really stoked about it, and I found Adobe Creative Suite 4 Design Premium at our campus bookstore for INSANELY cheap, so now I have Photoshop and InDesign and everything I need! 

Other than that… my class is running my life. Oh, except for the school paper, which is also running my life. We have meetings 3 days a week, not to mention production night. I spend at least as much time there as I do at class each week. And I get paid $14 a week. And for all my complaining, I’m looking at taking on another position! All my friends tell me to quit. But it’s what I want to do, and it’s good experience, and whether they like it or not I AM making more money than they are :P So maybe they’re just jealous… doubtful. 

I might get a tattoo next weekend. I know what design I want and my heart is set on that. I also know where I want it. And I don’t think I’d ever regret it, because it would be hidden most of the time (it would be just below my collarbone, and be about 3 inches tall; it’s a treble clef with a peace sign inside it) and it means a lot to me. I love music and I love peace, so I don’t think I could go wrong with that. But that doesn’t stop my brain from thinking “is it right?” Like, I’m waiting for the right moment or the right circumstance to get it (maybe when I’m in LA with my godmother), and that may never come. Or if it does, I could always just get another one. I like tattoos; if they’re tasteful and not too obvious, I think they can be gorgeous, and an awesome form of art. So I have nothing against it. And it’s not like anyone I know or anyone in my family would look at me with disgust or something. And I’d still be able to get a job, for heaven’s sake.

I want it, hands down. But then there’s the pain. Which I hear actually is not too bad. So that would be ok… I think. Blah, I just don’t know. 

The latest thing is that this girl I knew through Jazz Ensemble in high school recently texted me and asked if it was ok if she took one of my best friends to prom. I don’t want her to… but of course I can’t actually tell her that. And she said it came up because my friend told her I might get mad if she took him. I’m sure he was kidding… but one of my friends here thinks that he was using me as an excuse to get out of going with her. I’m totally fine with that. But… ok, here’s what I want:

1. To tell him that I’m fine with him going with her… but have it be pretty obvious to him that I would not be totally ok with it and that he shouldn’t go with her.

2. For him to be ok with using me as an excuse all he wants.

3. For her to think that I’m actually totally fine with him going with her.

4. For him to NOT go with her.

I feel so selfish. And obviously, 2 and 3 contradict each other, and I have absolutely no control over #4. So, the best I can do is go with #1… screw it if that makes me seem like a bitch to her. After all, by Idaho standards I AM a bitch. ha.

Anyway, I’m going to talk to him first, I think. That makes sense because he’s my first priority. :P We shall see.

In other areas of my life, hmmm…

I am having tons of fun making random playlists in iTunes. I use the weird categories to make cool mix CDs for my mom. She eats that stuff up, because she’ll go on road trips and then she has tons of music to listen to. I wish I could put the playlists on here… but I put so much hard work into them and don’t want them to get stolen! Haha, just kidding. I will put them up at some point. Some of them are genius, if I do say so myself. Especially if you knew my mom’s taste.

By the way, I just want to say… ALMOST 1000 HITS! That is fantastic, thanks everyone who looks at my page. I’m still working on getting an actual writing job so that I can put some interesting content on here (and make some money!). :P

(Title courtesy of Donovan. On an unrelated note, my car is named Donovan. And I’m getting my car after spring break!)

 

What I Want. January 13, 2009

Filed under: Evergreen, In My Life — josahlin @ 9:12 am
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This year (or, I should say, last year) I created my wish list right after the holiday my family celebrates known as Christmas to most other people. It didn’t make any sense, but i let myself go wild. The sky was the limit, and it was very liberating. I think I was only able to do it because of the money I got as gifts, which gave me a few new possibilities. 

I guess I got so into that idea that I forgot to make a New Year’s resolution. I hate those anyway, but they’re just kind of obligatory. So I decided that I need to become more assertive and notice when I really feel a certain way about something. I’ve been trying it and for the most part I don’t feel any different, so I’m a little concerned that I’m not “doing it right.” But even just keeping it in mind makes me feel a little more in control of myself, which I do really like. 

It feels nice to be liked by other people, but mostly I like to love myself. Which happens rarely… hence my resolution. Anyway, lately I’ve felt really liked, and luckily I’m able to say that I like all the people who like me! That can be rare, I hear. I was recently approached by a couple friends who want me to live with them this summer and next year, and the arrangement sounds fantastic. But I’ve also talked a ton with one of my friends about living with her next year. And I have another friend I want to live with as well. Those two friends don’t get along very well, or at least they wouldn’t if they were living together, and I can’t make a decision between the three. Plus, my parents have expressed their desire for me to live on campus next year, which is the last thing I want to do. I realize it’s an experience everyone has to have, but I am sooo over it. So it’s a hard decision.

Things that have been on my mind…

I would kill to go to the inauguration. oh my gawd. I was looking up ticket prices and they’re outrageous, but I would do anything to be able to go. The musician lineup is incredible too. And then there’s Barack…

My class is going to kill me this quarter. We have a huge quarter long project where we study a character, and I want to do mine on my godmother, but I don’t know if she’s be down for it, and I haven’t talked to her about it. And she’s the only person I’ve really been excited about interviewing and stuff.

What else…

Aristotle simply can suck it. argh.

But on a better note… tomorrow is Tuesday, and I sing then : )

 

Waiting is the hardest part December 10, 2008

So right now, I am lamenting the fact that my suitemate started blasting her incredibly annoying music MUCH too early. Well… it was, like, 9:30 ish. But still, I intended to sleep til 11! Maybe it was karma… it’s probably for my own good… but the annoying music? Not the best way to get the point across. (*Curses the heavens*). Seriously, it was like screamo Native American music. WTF, mate?!

Anyway, seriously, it was probably for the best. Now I have my own, really awesome, music on (Cat Stevens–who can argue with that?!) and I’m working up to revising an essay and working on the first draft of my self evaluation. 

In accordance with Evergreen’s unique system, they skip the whole finals week thing in lieu of Evaluation Week. Yes, it’s deserving of capitals. And for those of you who may be from other schools, and may be thinking, “psshhhhh, it can’t be worse than what I’m undergoing for finals week!” think again. Eval Week is at least as strenuous.

Before I go all out in describing what Eval Week entails, understand that this is specifically for my program and most other freshman programs I have been hearing of. Other upperclassmen have had other experiences, but for the most part I think the administration tries to keep things uniform for freshmen. 

First, one must put together a portfolio for the class. This is usually a binder with everything one has ever been handed, ever completed, ever written, etc. For me, this includes handouts, “sincwas” (seminar in class writing assignments), essays (we have four), and critiques of our and others’ essays, all in chronological order. 

Lovely.

brb

 

Tell me, where do the children play? December 7, 2008

I’m back! things are incredibly hectic here. This is a summary of what’s been going on… it was originally an email to my lit teacher from back home : )
My class is very good… It used to be absolutely amazing, and then it got a little monotonous, but it will pick up. My seminar leader IS definitely amazing, though, and I couldn’t hope for better. I recently talked to him to see if I could stay in his seminar next quarter, because I don’t like any of the other three teachers as much at all. Communication goes a looong way at this school! My schedule is like this:
Tuesday AM: Lecture or workshop. If it’s a lecture, it means that one of the teachers (we have 4) stands up and talks about how the book we’re reading relates to his or her general field of study. One of the teachers is an anthropologist, so when we were reading Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe), she talked about what culture meant to people and how it is formed. If we have a workshop, it means that we break into small groups (4 or 5 people) and discuss specific aspects of a book, like how the language works, or how metaphors add to the text as a whole, or comparisons and contrasts with other things we’ve read. 
Tuesday PM: Seminar. This goes much like our lit discussions last year. The group is about 20 students plus the seminar leader, and he does as little “leading” as possible. We pose questions that came to us during reading, and then talk about those, and discuss and sometimes argue. More specifically, we look at the characters and their actions, decisions, and words (since the class is called “Character Studies.”)
Wednesday AM: Writing Seminar… possibly my favorite class time in the whole week. We have an essay due every other week, usually about 4 or 5 pages long. So one week, half the seminar (group A) will submit their rough drafts, and the other half of the seminar will critique the papers and make comments. The following week, group A gives the seminar leader their final drafts, and group B submits their rough drafts, etc. It is SO helpful and interesting to see everyone progress!
Friday AM: Seminar.
Friday PM: Lecture or wrap-up session. We have cookies and tea and we talk : ) it’s great! Sometimes we watch a movie instead.
Life is great outside of class too : ) a couple weeks ago I got a position on the newspaper staff. I applied for three: Copy editor, letters and opinions coordinator, and page proofer. I got the position of page proofer and I love it! I didn’t even know when I applied that it was a paying position, but it is! I’m still not sure how much it pays, but I’m just happy to have a little income, so anything is nice. The paper comes out once a week, and I pretty much only have a task on production nights, which is Wednesday… so on Wednesdays I’m working on the paper until at least 3 AM. But it works out perfectly because I don’t have class on Thursdays! Also, I look at the pages once they’re printed, so I don’t have to be looking at a screen the whole time, which I love. 
Dorm life is good too… I live on the top floor of the highest dorm, which happens to be the highest point in Olympia : ) All I can see out my window are the tops of very green trees, which is so calming. There are only five people on our floor, which is nice and quiet. The top floor is reserved for high schoolers who come and stay the night, so we get to meet a few of them and encourage them to come to Evergreen. The food is not as good as any of us hoped, but there are a few options, so we can usually find something we’re happy with. 
I don’t have as much spare time as I hoped… we have at least one book to read every week and an essay to either write or revise (my dad still helps me with essays! it’s so great!).
 

Ner-cited September 20, 2008

Filed under: Evergreen, In My Life, Music — josahlin @ 4:22 am
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Nervousness is a feeling like no other. Even if you’ve experienced it a ton, it always seems to hit surprisingly fast or hard, and it never feels normal. 

I’ve been nervous for the past 2 weeks straight. As in, every morning I have woken up and there is literally no time in between when I wake up and when I start feeling nervous. I’ve always been nervous before starting school, but never like this. If I stop thinking about it, the nervous feeling hides for a bit, but it never really goes away. 

I know this is normal, and I’m not really complaining or anything, but it does happen to be uncomfortable. And I’ll be glad when I get over it and am really able to settle down and be content. And then, I’ll be more excited than anything, and that’s much better.

When I was probably around 6, I coined the word “nercited,” which is plainly a mix of nervous and excited. I’ve heard lots of other people use it since then, but I still think I came up with the word to begin with. So there. 

Tomorrow I move in, and then begins a week of back-to-back activities, routines of meeting people, and getting introduced to the life without supervision thing. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually “grow character” or something. Especially because I’m taking a program called Character Studies… 

I’m trying to decide whether to get a Netflix account. It would be an extra $9 per month, but I’m making at least $10 per week, so I’ll still have a profit. I think it would be an excellent plan… If I have 1 dvd at a time, but unlimited per month, then it will work out to watching about 1 every week, which is probably good. And that’s cheaper than just renting them. Plus, I’m designating one night a week as Will and Grace night since I have all the seasons on my computer.

Combined with my eMusic subscription, I would be paying $20 a month for movies and music, but I think that’s totally worth it since I won’t be buying any CDs or movies, and I’ll be making a profit of at least $20 a month. Yay!

 

Article about TESC (The Evergreen State College) June 30, 2008

This was written for a regional high-school newspaper with a selective staff. It’s a compilation of the optional essay I wrote for my application to the college, and another informative feature-like article I wrote about it.

In a bubble of ignorance, believing that school was supposed to be about competing for grades, doing meaningless homework, and taking even more pointless tests, I was frustrated when I visited Evergreen. Why couldn’t I have been left alone, left to choose a ‘traditional’ college and complete my education in a more ‘normal’ way? I could have persisted with learning little, retaining little and being unenthusiastic about the whole process.
Luckily, there was another alternative. After two weeks of debating with myself and discussing with my dad, I jumped. It was a leap of faith– faith in myself, and faith in Evergreen’s spectacular system (or refreshing lack thereof).

Almost every institute of higher learning proclaims a “one-of-a-kind” education of some sort. But Evergreen has the genuine raw appeal of a completely non-traditional atmosphere, though it’s definitely not for everyone. It is intriguing to students who have never questioned their school’s method of awarding grades or percentages.

Through high school, we’re trained to “strive” for the A, or maybe to accomplish “just” the B. But as anyone who has taken at least a semester of high school knows, the definition of a letter grade changes in every class. Do you really have to reach for that A in choir, like you do the one in math? Maybe you’re psyched for a C in history, but disappointed by a C in chemistry. With all the ambiguity and shape shifting of grades, it’s a wonder that we still put meaning in them. Then again, it’s so ingrained in all students that we just accept it.

Not at the Evergreen State College. No letter grades are assigned, no numbers. Nothing that could be misunderstood or misinterpreted. Teachers instead write complete, comprehensive evaluations of students and their work throughout a quarter. They can choose to give full, partial or no credit for a program.

Evergreen doesn’t require as much academic prowess and scholarly willpower as it does creativity. I have an unlimited imagination, but never has it been applied to designing a college education. In an institution which allows this and encourages it, the mind is freed of meaningless worries such as credits, grades, and mere memorization. Instead, a swiftly growing and maturing brain will engage in more important processes, like internal discussion, developing ideas and opinions, self-analysis, and self-discovery (partly through self-doubt).

Evergreen’s program system clears things up for those of us who were frustrated by having to jump from learning about DNA to reading Moby Dick in two hours. What if we could connect the two based on something they may have in common?

In a program, all types of classes—arts, sciences, social studies—are all tied together around a central theme. Usually, there are two to five professors who each specialize in an area within the program. They all collaborate and share their expertise.

The students’ environment is collaborative as well. When they don’t have to compete for a grade or “setting the curve,” there’s much more energy for sharing opinions, knowledge, and backgrounds.

Authors of what we call the “Great Books” believed that this was always what learning was supposed to be about. Why, then, didn’t education remain such a quenching and enlightening process? Obviously, most people are probably not meant to write books, which, thousands of years later, are still memorable enough to be called the “Great Books.” But how and when did education become so untrustworthy that tests of knowledge were developed? When did it become so discrete that we could measure the amount of it in a letter grade? When, in fact, did education become a measurable quantity at all?

There exists a college where one’s own schools of thought matter most. Personal concepts can be applied to a learning environment where there can only be endless rewards– the introduction of new thoughts, which develop and are reapplied. This means a cycle of win-win collaborative learning situations in discussions, ideas and personal growth.
There is so much to look forward to at Evergreen. Aside from its unique perspective on studies, it doesn’t lose any exciting opportunities available at other colleges. There’s so much to get involved in and so many choices to take advantage of in clubs, sports and the arts. Many activities were not options for me in high school.

I have attended a specifically college prep school for the past six years. Needless to say, it wasn’t prepping me for the type of learning I will embrace at Evergreen. No, the Coeur d’ Alene Charter Academy has been training me in the ways of the traditional college, where I would spend even more tedious hours fighting for that weird letter A that really represented nothing.

Then again, it’s not like there’s an Evergreen Prep School. And because of the whole diploma thing, high schools need a way to quantify how much a student has supposedly learned.

I’m confused by the awarding of letter grades for tedious memorization and regurgitation of textbook knowledge, and by what, if any, relation these grades have to learning in the first place. Evergreen opened my eyes to this disconnection, thankfully. In attending Evergreen, I’m especially anticipating seeing the world unrestricted by the blindness caused when education is made into a monotonous, unimaginative chore. Evergreen is a breath of fresh air after struggling to find inspiration in a traditional school system.

The Evergreen State College: www.evergreen.edu