Santa, give me Glee.

As part of my procrastination efforts, I have developed a list of things that I would like to see on Glee:

1) A Coldplay song.

2) Gay role models for Kurt. Helloooo, where are Rachel’s dads?!

3) Something substantial to happen with Will and Emma. Rather, nothing to happen with either of them and any potential significant others.

4) Deal with lesbianism. Kurt confronts his sexuality every day, but then we see Santana and Brittany making out and nothing actually goes down with that sitch?!

5) Also, along the same lines: one of the other guys in Glee (or secondary characters) needs to confront his confused sexuality (preferably Sam, because well, come on). He doesn’t need to be gay; he just needs to be confused.

6) Kurt and Blaine need to make out. Again, come on.

7) There needs to be a breakup. Preferably Rachel and Finn. Or Emma and Carl. Also, Rachel hasn’t threatened to quit Glee in a while; when’s that going to happen again?

8) Alright, don’t even get me started on Sue. Is she gay? Is she straight? She’s done some dudes on the show and maybe had some girl crushes? But really, let’s get serious on this shit. Here’s my ideal Plan (yes, with a capital P): There’s a really hot guest star. Ellen De(wait for it…)generes. Sue falls in love at first sight. Ellen is a talk show host and she has come to do an episode on the cheerleaders, but then finds out about the glee club. Sue immediately realizes she’s a threat– not because she’s recognizing the glee club but because (gasp!) Will clearly has a crush on her too. So Sue has to impress Ellen by liking the glee club, but also has to work her hardest to tear Ellen away from Will and still make Will’s life a living hell. In short, Sue is emotionally tormented like we’ve never seen her before. She writes in her journal constantly, wails to sad music alone in her dark office, et cetera.
Don’t tell me that’s far-fetched. That’s sitcom, darling.

9) More political involvement. I know this threatens the show’s reputation like no other, but seriously, these kids are growing up and they need a long-term life involvement besides vapid showgirl dreams.
(haha, that was so Sue.)

10) A new Glist.

11) Can we talk costumes? I don’t mean changing them or anything; I literally mean talking about them. Maybe I just wish this show was a little more like The Office, where there was just a camera on the everyday boring monotony. I’d like to see a little more behind the scenes. Who is the piano guy?! I want his story! What do all the musicians feel? Why aren’t they technically part of the club? Do they get any say in the music? How does the crew pick costumes? Where are all the dance rehearsals?

12) Perform outside of school. The mattress ad episode was great– I want more performances for places like nursing homes (they should sing for Sue’s sister!) or fundraisers or something.

13) If they aren’t spying for Sue anymore, why doesn’t she try to get her Cheerios off the glee club?

14) Fresh blood. I was pretty excited about that Asian girl at the beginning of season 2, but she got dragged off to Vocal Adrenaline. Where are these people?! That’s a pretty big school– there have got to be more than 12 voices for glee.

15) Where is the regular choir? Where are they performing? With what budget? Who’s the director? Why doesn’t Sue try to cut them? Why aren’t they the bottom rung of the social ladder instead of glee?

16) Guest stars. They need another GaGa episode and they need GaGa for it. Also, Josh Groban comes in and then doesn’t sing! What’s up with that? I’m thinking Julie Andrews, Ellen (as I’ve said), and maybe Sean Hayes of Will & Grace fame. Of course I would say that.

17) Homework! These kids are in high school, albeit a huge lame public school, not a challenging one like mine was, but still, where are their academic interests and struggles?

18) Rachel’s mom and Quinn’s baby. Where are they?

19) Animals. Let’s get some pets up in this show.

20) Vocal lessons? Don’t they ever struggle with their range, try to improve their voice, anything? I want to hear their voices crack. It sounds mean, but I just want some reality.

21) A song in a foreign language!

22) A wedding. I don’t know whose, but someone has got to tie the knot and someone has to get insanely jealous. Emma’s wedding didn’t happen, and someone’s should.

Honestly, all I’m saying is that the show has become kind of predictable. Frankly, I think this most recent episode with Gwyneth Paltrow was really weak. There was hardly any singing and hardly any acting, even from the kids who are usually most present!

What if Kurt was one of us?

Tonight’s procrastination is not like any other night of procrastination.

Ok, I kind of take that back. Most nights of serious procrastination end up about the same: It’s midnight, I’ve written about 300 words of a 2000-word paper, and all I can do is listen to the Beatles and cry.

I don’t know if that makes you want to feel sorry for me, but please don’t. Not only do I bring this upon myself, but I also don’t actually have any reasons to be crying.

But tonight seems different. I’ve gotten into a major Glee phase lately (maybe later we can go into details about what a “major phase” is), and I’m finally caught up on all the episodes… all except one. For some reason, the third episode of season 2 was the only video that I couldn’t find anywhere online, so that’s the one I skipped, moving on to the latest 3 episodes.

Then I downloaded all of the Glee music I could find from FrostWire.

Then I heard “I Wanna Hold Your Hand,” sung by Glee’s Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer). It’s a version close to what Prudence did in “Across the Universe,” and I love it. The really strong bass line, the anguish in the progression of the lyrics… It’s all there. So I would have remembered Kurt singing it, and I didn’t. Of course it was from the one episode I missed.

I found it on YouTube, and it’s absolutely heartbreaking. It will probably be removed soon, but I’d still encourage you to look it up.

I’m really not sure why Glee strikes me so much now. It’s pretty cheesy, it doesn’t really apply to me, all it does is make me wish I was back in high school with my jazz ensemble and that I could sing better. But lately it’s kind of what gets me out of bed. I know that’s an awful thing to say, but my class feels dead-end and inserting myself into fictional musical storylines just seems like what I need.

By now I managed to find episode 3 of the second season, and it might just be my favorite episode so far. It’s almost undoubtedly the most powerful episode ever of Glee, and it also is the one that hit most home for me. One reason is because of the Beatles song, another reason is because it had me choked up the whole second half, another is because it featured Kurt, my favorite Glee clubber, heavily, and it also reminded me most of some of my experiences in high school. You can’t sum up all of life’s questions and whether or not you have answers in one episode of a tv show, but I think it’s admirable that at least those issues are being brought up on national television.

And now maybe I’ll try to tackle some of them in my school paper.

It’s because they’re English.

I wrote a paper in French! It’s really short, and it’s about a play/playwright of whom you’ve probably never heard, but I’m posting it anyway.

This is about the element of the absurd in Eugene Ionesco’s “La cancatrice chauve.”

At the end, there’s a sort of “blague” (in French, that’s like an inside joke) about the English, because at the beginning of the play the characters make a huge deal about being English. They’re French, obviously.

—-

Depuis que je suis au Paris et vois <<La cancatrice chauve>> en scène, je me demande, qiu dit les mensonges, et qui dit la vérité ? Par exemple, qui sonne à la porte quand Mme Smith a ouvert la porte trois fois ? Est-ce que c’est le pompier, ou est-ce que c’est personne ? Si l’histoire marche logicalement, Mme Smith ou le pompier doit mentir. C’est impossible (ou c’est absurd) pour l’histoire marcher sans des mensonges. Tous les vérités ne marchent pas ensembles.

Il y a trop des situations possibles, et on doit analyser chaque situation comme une problème des mathématiques.

Les constantes sont :

Mme Smith ouvre la porte trois fois,

Le pompier se présente le quatrième fois.

Les variables sont :

Mme Smith dit qu’il n’y était personne à la porte les prémières trois fois,

Le pompier dit qu’il était près de la porte pour trois quarts d’heure,

Il dit qu’il n’avez vu personne,

Il dit qu’il n’a pas sonné.

 

Si Mme Smith dit la vérité et, en actualité, elle n’a vu personne, c’est certain que le pompier a dit au moins qu’un mensonge : il n’était près de la porte depuis trois quarts d’heure, OU il a vu quelqu’un, OU il a sonné à la porte. Si Mme Smith ment, si elle a vu quelqu’un, le pompier aussie doit dire au moins qu’un mensonge.

Si les deux ne mentent pas, l’histoire ne march pas logicalement. L’absurd est difficile pour moi, parce que je veux que les histoires sont sensibles. Quand je dois faire les maths et élaborer beaucoup des situations possibles afin de le comprendre, ça me rend fou ! Mais enfin je crois que les personnages sont fous, pas moi. Ils sont anglais, non ?