Play. Laugh. Grow. November 15, 2009

Lately, I’ve had this near-constant feeling of wanting to GET UP AND GO. Maybe you know it: where your butt starts tingling after sitting in a chair for longer than a half hour, and your feet keep twitching, and you look at pictures of Paris and nearly cry.

I know I’m going abroad in the spring, and I’m having lots of fun in Oly and at my apartment and with my friends. And honestly, even though I have the drive, I don’t really have the energy to do much other than just watch other people do amazing things. Eventually I will get to do them, too.

I have a bunch of friends who aren’t in college, and I read a bunch of websites about internships and jobs at all the places I would like to eventually be, like NYTimes, magazines, Pandora.com, and lots of others. In some ways I feel cooped up being in college, in one apartment, one town, one state… with still the same life goals. I don’t have any regrets about getting an education now, but because it’s so expensive and because I hate my class so much, I do wonder if there are many other things I could be working at. I really value the experience I’m getting with the paper (and the advisor talked to me again the other day about becoming editor-in-chief, which is insanely exciting), but I can’t help thinking all the time about the fact that I don’t actually want to work at a paper!

Earlier in the quarter I was telling my parents that usually at college, it’s so easy to just take random classes and get tons of credits and lose sight of where exactly you’re going in an education. You have to plan for what credits to get, but other than that, you’re just taking a bunch of unrelated classes that eventually are supposed to come together and sync up with what you’re interested in. But at Evergreen, it’s harder to not think about your eventual life and academic goals all the time during a program and during the year. If you can’t see where you’re going, why are you in that program? If you’re not connecting to your more broad (or more specific) academic focus, what are you doing?!

That’s why it’s so frustrating that I’m in this program and I’m being restricted to not involve my long-term interests.

So maybe I just feel antsy because of my academic frustrations. That would make a lot of sense. Also, Thanksgiving break is coming up, so hopefully I will get my kicks out then.

The past can be the future. Why go back? September 18, 2009

Introducing the first thing I have posted on my wall (REAL wall, that is–NOT Facebook) since I have moved into my apartment:

The very first issue of the Cooper Point Journal (CPJ), the paper for which I am the print managing editor (there is a web managing editor for, obviously, the web edition). The CPJ is a weekly publication put out by the CPJ student group, but more broadly, it is a paper by and for the students, which is most important. The CPJ accepts any type of content from anyone enrolled as a student at the Evergreen State College, which is very cool. We have two advisors, but they don’t have any say over what goes in the paper (nor does any other faculty member). The student group is comprised entirely of students who put out the web and print publication, as well as students to manage and maintain the business side of things. We only receive a certain amount of funding from the Student Activities department of the school, and the student activities funds come directly from students through tuition, so the paper is quite literally BY the students, in all senses. Students in positions of responsibility receive a learning allotment most weeks of the quarter, which enables them to spend the time that they do at the CPJ.

The CPJ is not a “job,” and we do not get “paid.” We don’t even “work.” We have responsibilities, and are held accountable for those responsibilities by the mere fact that we are members of the organization. We don’t need to know a certain amount before coming into a position at the CPJ (seriously, I am a managing editor after only 3 years of being involved in journalism of any sort; that tells you something), but we are encouraged to learn while we’re at the CPJ–hence the designation of the CPJ being a “learning laboratory.”

Anyway, as my position indicates, I am responsible for the print edition of the paper, which is weekly. The first paper came off the presses today, and I got to watch it happen. I was given a copy right then and there, with that picture on the cover that I took and the cover design that I did. I was (and am) so proud of that thing.

So… why do I feel guilty? The thing about the CPJ is that, since we don’t “work,” we don’t have hours, so technically we are at liberty to leave whenever we want. But since we are responsible and accountable for certain tasks, they should be priority. Plus, there is always the chance that more may come up, or tasks may be delegated, and there is the real looming responsibility of the actual publication. So “leadership” (the business manager, associate business manager, editor in chief, associate editor, web managing editor, and print managing editor) are usually under the impression that other members will be (or should be) as dedicated to producing the overall result as we are. Well, frankly, sometimes they just aren’t.

That should be fine with us. I mean, technically their position has certain responsibilities assigned to it, and if they take care of those they are free to lead a life. The problem is that we get so caught up in what has to be done, and usually we are so short-staffed, that we feel the need to delegate tasks to these people that somehow have gotten done with their section early.

…Ok, I’m tired of explaining this, so the short version is that there is A TON of guilt-tripping in the CPJ. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone.

I felt the guilt pressure almost all of last year in my various positions, as well as this past summer when I was at home having a normal life when everyone else was at the office having responsibilities in which I was expected to take part or share.

So though I never told anyone when I came back this year, my ultimate goal is to never guilt trip someone. If someone is done and says something like “…so…I think I’ll head out now,” I can respond with no more than, “all right. If you find you have more time, let us know if you’re free and we can give you something to do.” That’s it. Because I am so fed up with these people being presented with that situation of someone wanting to leave and saying, “well… ok… it would be great if you could stay a while longer, because there’s a lot left to do…”

What BS. Suck it up and do some work yourself. Last night was production night, and I felt like I did a ton because we were short-staffed and people left. And I was fine with it. I am at the CPJ because I have an extreme passion for journalism. And I want that passion to show through my drive and motivation to put out a quality paper without too much perfectionism. Actually, I can’t imagine what it would be like if we had a full staff. What would I do?!

Our advisor once said, when we were anticipating the switch to our primarily online medium, that “Jo can put out a print paper by herself. So what you guys need to focus on is the website.” And, though that probably wouldn’t be something I’d prefer in the heat of the moment, it sounds a little daringly awesome.

It won’t happen. The CPJ is a students’ paper, not a student’s paper. [If you don't understand that line, please leave this blog. Now.]

And I don’t want it to happen. I am so caught up in the awesomeness of the ‘voice of the students thing’ that I never want to give that up. Why would a publication function any differently?

It seems like every time I find something new about Evergreen, I react to it like I did when I got my Mac: Why would ever go back to how it/I was before? In fact, that happens with many facets of my life.

Why would I ever go back to a school that gave grades and pushed a competitive learning environment?

Why would I ever go back to a life without barbershop music?

Why would I ever go back to being involved in a newspaper that wasn’t by and for the people?

It’s so important. I realized this when the EIC was working on launching the website today. Before, I had been rather caught up in how the site would look, and how it would function, blah blah blah, just so that people would want to look at it and come back to it and become a member of the site, etc. But now, I want it to look very rustic and work-in-progress-like, so that people will instead come up to us and say something like, “btw, that website of yours… uh… sucks.” Then, I will be able to tell them [quite honestly, mind you], “I’m so glad you think so! We would love to have your expertise, or at least some input about it!”

Does that sound dorky? Because I think it sounds really exciting.

Waiting is the hardest part December 10, 2008

So right now, I am lamenting the fact that my suitemate started blasting her incredibly annoying music MUCH too early. Well… it was, like, 9:30 ish. But still, I intended to sleep til 11! Maybe it was karma… it’s probably for my own good… but the annoying music? Not the best way to get the point across. (*Curses the heavens*). Seriously, it was like screamo Native American music. WTF, mate?!

Anyway, seriously, it was probably for the best. Now I have my own, really awesome, music on (Cat Stevens–who can argue with that?!) and I’m working up to revising an essay and working on the first draft of my self evaluation. 

In accordance with Evergreen’s unique system, they skip the whole finals week thing in lieu of Evaluation Week. Yes, it’s deserving of capitals. And for those of you who may be from other schools, and may be thinking, “psshhhhh, it can’t be worse than what I’m undergoing for finals week!” think again. Eval Week is at least as strenuous.

Before I go all out in describing what Eval Week entails, understand that this is specifically for my program and most other freshman programs I have been hearing of. Other upperclassmen have had other experiences, but for the most part I think the administration tries to keep things uniform for freshmen. 

First, one must put together a portfolio for the class. This is usually a binder with everything one has ever been handed, ever completed, ever written, etc. For me, this includes handouts, “sincwas” (seminar in class writing assignments), essays (we have four), and critiques of our and others’ essays, all in chronological order. 

Lovely.

brb

Tell me, where do the children play? December 7, 2008

I’m back! things are incredibly hectic here. This is a summary of what’s been going on… it was originally an email to my lit teacher from back home : )

My class is very good… It used to be absolutely amazing, and then it got a little monotonous, but it will pick up. My seminar leader IS definitely amazing, though, and I couldn’t hope for better. I recently talked to him to see if I could stay in his seminar next quarter, because I don’t like any of the other three teachers as much at all. Communication goes a looong way at this school! My schedule is like this:

Tuesday AM: Lecture or workshop. If it’s a lecture, it means that one of the teachers (we have 4) stands up and talks about how the book we’re reading relates to his or her general field of study. One of the teachers is an anthropologist, so when we were reading Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe), she talked about what culture meant to people and how it is formed. If we have a workshop, it means that we break into small groups (4 or 5 people) and discuss specific aspects of a book, like how the language works, or how metaphors add to the text as a whole, or comparisons and contrasts with other things we’ve read. 

Tuesday PM: Seminar. This goes much like our lit discussions last year. The group is about 20 students plus the seminar leader, and he does as little “leading” as possible. We pose questions that came to us during reading, and then talk about those, and discuss and sometimes argue. More specifically, we look at the characters and their actions, decisions, and words (since the class is called “Character Studies.”)

Wednesday AM: Writing Seminar… possibly my favorite class time in the whole week. We have an essay due every other week, usually about 4 or 5 pages long. So one week, half the seminar (group A) will submit their rough drafts, and the other half of the seminar will critique the papers and make comments. The following week, group A gives the seminar leader their final drafts, and group B submits their rough drafts, etc. It is SO helpful and interesting to see everyone progress!

Friday AM: Seminar.

Friday PM: Lecture or wrap-up session. We have cookies and tea and we talk : ) it’s great! Sometimes we watch a movie instead.

Life is great outside of class too : ) a couple weeks ago I got a position on the newspaper staff. I applied for three: Copy editor, letters and opinions coordinator, and page proofer. I got the position of page proofer and I love it! I didn’t even know when I applied that it was a paying position, but it is! I’m still not sure how much it pays, but I’m just happy to have a little income, so anything is nice. The paper comes out once a week, and I pretty much only have a task on production nights, which is Wednesday… so on Wednesdays I’m working on the paper until at least 3 AM. But it works out perfectly because I don’t have class on Thursdays! Also, I look at the pages once they’re printed, so I don’t have to be looking at a screen the whole time, which I love. 

Dorm life is good too… I live on the top floor of the highest dorm, which happens to be the highest point in Olympia : ) All I can see out my window are the tops of very green trees, which is so calming. There are only five people on our floor, which is nice and quiet. The top floor is reserved for high schoolers who come and stay the night, so we get to meet a few of them and encourage them to come to Evergreen. The food is not as good as any of us hoped, but there are a few options, so we can usually find something we’re happy with. 

I don’t have as much spare time as I hoped… we have at least one book to read every week and an essay to either write or revise (my dad still helps me with essays! it’s so great!).

Article about TESC (The Evergreen State College) June 30, 2008

This was written for a regional high-school newspaper with a selective staff. It’s a compilation of the optional essay I wrote for my application to the college, and another informative feature-like article I wrote about it.

In a bubble of ignorance, believing that school was supposed to be about competing for grades, doing meaningless homework, and taking even more pointless tests, I was frustrated when I visited Evergreen. Why couldn’t I have been left alone, left to choose a ‘traditional’ college and complete my education in a more ‘normal’ way? I could have persisted with learning little, retaining little and being unenthusiastic about the whole process.
Luckily, there was another alternative. After two weeks of debating with myself and discussing with my dad, I jumped. It was a leap of faith– faith in myself, and faith in Evergreen’s spectacular system (or refreshing lack thereof).

Almost every institute of higher learning proclaims a “one-of-a-kind” education of some sort. But Evergreen has the genuine raw appeal of a completely non-traditional atmosphere, though it’s definitely not for everyone. It is intriguing to students who have never questioned their school’s method of awarding grades or percentages.

Through high school, we’re trained to “strive” for the A, or maybe to accomplish “just” the B. But as anyone who has taken at least a semester of high school knows, the definition of a letter grade changes in every class. Do you really have to reach for that A in choir, like you do the one in math? Maybe you’re psyched for a C in history, but disappointed by a C in chemistry. With all the ambiguity and shape shifting of grades, it’s a wonder that we still put meaning in them. Then again, it’s so ingrained in all students that we just accept it.

Not at the Evergreen State College. No letter grades are assigned, no numbers. Nothing that could be misunderstood or misinterpreted. Teachers instead write complete, comprehensive evaluations of students and their work throughout a quarter. They can choose to give full, partial or no credit for a program.

Evergreen doesn’t require as much academic prowess and scholarly willpower as it does creativity. I have an unlimited imagination, but never has it been applied to designing a college education. In an institution which allows this and encourages it, the mind is freed of meaningless worries such as credits, grades, and mere memorization. Instead, a swiftly growing and maturing brain will engage in more important processes, like internal discussion, developing ideas and opinions, self-analysis, and self-discovery (partly through self-doubt).

Evergreen’s program system clears things up for those of us who were frustrated by having to jump from learning about DNA to reading Moby Dick in two hours. What if we could connect the two based on something they may have in common?

In a program, all types of classes—arts, sciences, social studies—are all tied together around a central theme. Usually, there are two to five professors who each specialize in an area within the program. They all collaborate and share their expertise.

The students’ environment is collaborative as well. When they don’t have to compete for a grade or “setting the curve,” there’s much more energy for sharing opinions, knowledge, and backgrounds.

Authors of what we call the “Great Books” believed that this was always what learning was supposed to be about. Why, then, didn’t education remain such a quenching and enlightening process? Obviously, most people are probably not meant to write books, which, thousands of years later, are still memorable enough to be called the “Great Books.” But how and when did education become so untrustworthy that tests of knowledge were developed? When did it become so discrete that we could measure the amount of it in a letter grade? When, in fact, did education become a measurable quantity at all?

There exists a college where one’s own schools of thought matter most. Personal concepts can be applied to a learning environment where there can only be endless rewards– the introduction of new thoughts, which develop and are reapplied. This means a cycle of win-win collaborative learning situations in discussions, ideas and personal growth.
There is so much to look forward to at Evergreen. Aside from its unique perspective on studies, it doesn’t lose any exciting opportunities available at other colleges. There’s so much to get involved in and so many choices to take advantage of in clubs, sports and the arts. Many activities were not options for me in high school.

I have attended a specifically college prep school for the past six years. Needless to say, it wasn’t prepping me for the type of learning I will embrace at Evergreen. No, the Coeur d’ Alene Charter Academy has been training me in the ways of the traditional college, where I would spend even more tedious hours fighting for that weird letter A that really represented nothing.

Then again, it’s not like there’s an Evergreen Prep School. And because of the whole diploma thing, high schools need a way to quantify how much a student has supposedly learned.

I’m confused by the awarding of letter grades for tedious memorization and regurgitation of textbook knowledge, and by what, if any, relation these grades have to learning in the first place. Evergreen opened my eyes to this disconnection, thankfully. In attending Evergreen, I’m especially anticipating seeing the world unrestricted by the blindness caused when education is made into a monotonous, unimaginative chore. Evergreen is a breath of fresh air after struggling to find inspiration in a traditional school system.

The Evergreen State College: www.evergreen.edu