Learner.

My next-to-last quarter at Evergreen is drawing to a close, and in addition to the crippling senioritis I’ve contracted, I’ve also started to get a pretty bittersweet feeling about graduating and about the time I’ve spent at Evergreen.

At the end of every quarter, we write page-long self evaluations about the work we’ve done and what we’ve learned during the quarter. Mine tend to wax philosophic about how I’ve changed and grown personally, and about learning styles, and about how Evergreen is different, and what it’s teaching us to be (or what it’s enabling us to be). I have an enormous amount of respect for Evergreen.

Anyway, I started out writing that same narrative at the beginning of this quarter’s self evaluation, but it seemed more appropriate for a different setting–maybe my final summative self evaluation. In the meantime, I’m posting it here. [Taken from a Tumblr blog that belongs to me!]

I’ve had several epiphanies this quarter about my learning style and ability (or lack thereof) to do work. I have been overwhelmed by what I have learned about myself as a person and as a learner.

It’s taken me a long time at Evergreen to see that sort of statement (which I tend to make in nearly every self evaluation I write) not as a cop-out, but as a reflection on the overall purpose of this school. In this instance, what I’m clearly saying is, “yeah, I did very little of the work and didn’t learn all of what I set out to learn, and I’m disappointed by that– but wait! I did learn some stuff; it just wasn’t on the contract… does that count?”

That’s not a legitimate justification for credits. And maybe I’m just getting philosophical because it’s starting to sink in that I have only 3 months left of undergrad life. And I understand that this was a web design contract and I am delaying the analysis of the actual work I did(n’t) do or things I did(n’t) learn. But I do truly believe that’s what Evergreen is all about– there’s a difference between a student and a learner, and Evergreen teaches us to be learners, not students.

I have a pattern of needing to do this lengthy preamble to self evaluations because I definitely have this love affair with Evergreen, and with nearly every class/program/contract I do, this love affair grows. And I know it has been a successful quarter, at least in some respects, if that happens.

In other aspects of life, too, I feel most self-assured and successful the more I learn. It doesn’t matter if an experience is downright catastrophic– if I learn from it, I come out feeling pretty victorious, even if it takes me a little while to recognize and appreciate that feeling. At the student newspaper, the Cooper Point Journal, we go through a month of leadership training before school starts. One of the games we play to help identify and develop leadership qualities is an auction where we are all bidding on character traits of a “good” leader. The idea is to bid on items that you believe you lack or need in order to become a better leader. There are the usual things you’d expect: organized, respectful, confident, responsible, etc… and then there’s “Lifelong Learner.” I always bid on that one, even though I don’t think I need it: I couldn’t stop learning if I tried.

And trust me, this quarter any observer would pretty much believe that’s exactly what I was doing.

You’ve got this thing about you that keeps me on the edge of my seat.

I cannot tell you how amazing my life is. I’m a pretty happy person, but lately I have just been pumped. All. The. Time.

My birthday is in a week, and nearly all of my friends will be there helping me ring it in.

I have fucking awesome friends.

I listen to good music all the time.

The student newspaper’s website is better than ever.

I’m setting up my own contract this quarter and I’ve picked out all my reading materials.

I’ve been flexing my editing muscles and I LOVE IT.

Oh god, do I fucking love it.

No one can rain on my parade. (Though the Olympia weather is trying its hardest.)

(Title of post from “Teeth,” by The Ettes)

Tell me, where do the children play?

I’m back! things are incredibly hectic here. This is a summary of what’s been going on… it was originally an email to my lit teacher from back home : )

My class is very good… It used to be absolutely amazing, and then it got a little monotonous, but it will pick up. My seminar leader IS definitely amazing, though, and I couldn’t hope for better. I recently talked to him to see if I could stay in his seminar next quarter, because I don’t like any of the other three teachers as much at all. Communication goes a looong way at this school! My schedule is like this:

Tuesday AM: Lecture or workshop. If it’s a lecture, it means that one of the teachers (we have 4) stands up and talks about how the book we’re reading relates to his or her general field of study. One of the teachers is an anthropologist, so when we were reading Things Fall Apart (Chinua Achebe), she talked about what culture meant to people and how it is formed. If we have a workshop, it means that we break into small groups (4 or 5 people) and discuss specific aspects of a book, like how the language works, or how metaphors add to the text as a whole, or comparisons and contrasts with other things we’ve read. 

Tuesday PM: Seminar. This goes much like our lit discussions last year. The group is about 20 students plus the seminar leader, and he does as little “leading” as possible. We pose questions that came to us during reading, and then talk about those, and discuss and sometimes argue. More specifically, we look at the characters and their actions, decisions, and words (since the class is called “Character Studies.”)

Wednesday AM: Writing Seminar… possibly my favorite class time in the whole week. We have an essay due every other week, usually about 4 or 5 pages long. So one week, half the seminar (group A) will submit their rough drafts, and the other half of the seminar will critique the papers and make comments. The following week, group A gives the seminar leader their final drafts, and group B submits their rough drafts, etc. It is SO helpful and interesting to see everyone progress!

Friday AM: Seminar.

Friday PM: Lecture or wrap-up session. We have cookies and tea and we talk : ) it’s great! Sometimes we watch a movie instead.

Life is great outside of class too : ) a couple weeks ago I got a position on the newspaper staff. I applied for three: Copy editor, letters and opinions coordinator, and page proofer. I got the position of page proofer and I love it! I didn’t even know when I applied that it was a paying position, but it is! I’m still not sure how much it pays, but I’m just happy to have a little income, so anything is nice. The paper comes out once a week, and I pretty much only have a task on production nights, which is Wednesday… so on Wednesdays I’m working on the paper until at least 3 AM. But it works out perfectly because I don’t have class on Thursdays! Also, I look at the pages once they’re printed, so I don’t have to be looking at a screen the whole time, which I love. 

Dorm life is good too… I live on the top floor of the highest dorm, which happens to be the highest point in Olympia : ) All I can see out my window are the tops of very green trees, which is so calming. There are only five people on our floor, which is nice and quiet. The top floor is reserved for high schoolers who come and stay the night, so we get to meet a few of them and encourage them to come to Evergreen. The food is not as good as any of us hoped, but there are a few options, so we can usually find something we’re happy with. 

I don’t have as much spare time as I hoped… we have at least one book to read every week and an essay to either write or revise (my dad still helps me with essays! it’s so great!).

“Final Thoughts”

This was part of a compilation of articles that all the senior editors (including me) of my high school newspaper wrote. The newspaper was ending, not just for the year, but until further notice. We were all heartbroken (even though we were all seniors and would be leaving anyway). We produced a fantastic paper and were very disappointed to hear that it would end after we left. So this is the “goodbye” article I wrote for the last edition of our paper, The Illuminati.

It was when I starter daydreaming about fantastic article leads like this one that I realised I wanted to go into journalism as a career. Leads can usually be placed in one of the following categories: sappy, questioning, ZAP!, yawn, news, bitter, me me me, you you you, or a combination of those.

For your entertainment, since you will never read another lead from me in The Illuminati, I will give you some outtakes for this article:

Sappy: Well, we editors have come a long way, but it’s time to put an end to the magic.

Questioning: What does one do when the publishing of her favorite paper comes to an end?

ZAP!: My beloved paper! Gone! No more! It is an ex-paper!

Yawn: Mrs. Smith just told us there might not be a paper next year.

News: On May 5, 2008, Journalism/Yearbook adviser Jane Smith announced the potential end of The Illuminati for the ’08-’09 school year.

Bitter: As if just not writing for the paper anymore weren’t enough, the administration has decided to shut down our precious paper altogether.

Me, me, me: I could die – I don’t know what will become of me if I can’t see my name in my school’s paper anymore!

You, you, you. You never know what you have until you have it taken away from you, and you won’t know how much you’ll miss the paper until you’re not reading it anymore.

And so on, and so forth.

The lead of an article is “a short summary serving as an introduction to a news story, article or other copy,” but you’ve probably figured that out. Obviously, the lead is probably the most important part of a story. It can make or break the other 500 words of an article, or it can make or break every reader’s opinion of the author.

The lead is “a guide or indication of a road, course, method, etc., to follow.” I can’t remember writing my first lead ever, but I’m sure while writing I wasn’t thinking it would automatically lead to my primary career choice. Or life in general.

The lead: an observation, some inspiration, a motivation. Fuel for action. Reason for change. A cause for the effect. The question for the resolution. Or, the roadmap for the action. The plan for the plot.

The body: The supporting scene. Details. Specifics. A blow-by-blow of conflicts. Whatever makes the outcome worthwhile. Everything that gives meaning to the point. An argument. A testimony of passion. An explanation, a legacy.

The conclusion: … I’ll be honest – I don’t know yet.

And what happens after? We begin again, of course. For there will always be another deadline or another incentive. Then begins the new cycle of creativity, of excitement and of craziness. Just like life, everything keeps moving. It may be disorderly (everyone has that really yucky, disappointing article every once in a while), and the outcome may be completely unsatisfactory.

As some great young prophet said, “any blank piece of paper is a world to be created, an idea to be stated or and emotion to be conveyed… [it's] a canvas just like Life; it’s ours to do with what we wish; it’s reserved for our imagination.”

So here we all are, each writing just one more lead for our adored Illuminati, paradoxically choosing the best beginning to end our editorial reign, choosing the best conclusion to commence the rest of our lives.

… And there you have it. That is all my work; I would appreciate it if no one stole any part of it. Thank you.