Nietzsche for the sake of Nietzsche

Every time I try just writing for the sake of having words, it doesn’t turn out very well. Or maybe it does… because eventually I do get there and something valuable comes from the exercise… but I also manage to bullshit like crazy and I don’t think anyone really benefits from that.
I also use way more ellipses when I’m freewriting. So that’s weird.

So foreals… I’ve been reading more Nietzsche lately, revisiting some of the tidbits I read when I was traveling in France. Brings back good memories. When you’re traveling I think you develop a tendency to want to generalize about people in the world. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism– like, you just want to find any similarities you can in the world so you feel more comfortable and at ease. But that can be really dangerous, in my opinion, because it can close you off to learning about differences in the world and they [beautiful, necessary] ways people vary. If you’re too busy looking for similarities, what is that going to do to your ability to appreciate differences?

When I was abroad I definitely tried to make some broad generalizations about people, for better or for worse. But even at the time, when I was writing those things, I would know on some level that they were hollow observations and one could easily refute anything I was saying. After all, I had only been to the United States and Western Europe, which is but a tiny fraction of the diversity out there. And I was 19. What the hell did I know?

So I compromised by reading people like Nietzsche, who seems to relish making generalizations and grand overtures about human nature. You could expect that from someone who wrote a book called “Human, All Too Human.” Nietzsche filled the void for generalizations about humans, but was also a little over-the-top, so I could read Nietzsche and still keep a conscience about me. That is, I could read what he was writing and think, “aw, well, that can’t be totally true. What about ______?” That seemed more healthy than just buying into all he said about the world and humanity, and more healthy than writing those things myself.

Forced Constraint

I am SO TIRED. But not sleep-deprived. I am tired of doing the bare minimum, tired of having limitations. Life would be so much better if I didn’t have to conform, if I could do whatever I wanted in my writing. For examples, I should post on here my take-home exam essays–the ones I COULD have written, and the ones I actually wrote.

I have a couple friends who were in this class called Creativity and Constraint last year, and because of their experience I understand why constraints can be beneficial in writing. But I think they are more just an exercise to get creative juices flowing, not a way to actually choose to write. In other words, putting constraints on a piece of writing should be a last resort. At least, that’s the way I learn.

Even though you may have no background knowledge of linguistics, gender studies, discourse analysis, or other variables of speech, I invite you to read the essays I recently wrote on the subjects.

Re-gathering

I finally cut the cord on that awful freelance writing project that was hanging over my head for 6+ weeks. I feel pretty liberated– then again, I probably technically let go of the idea a couple weeks ago. At least now I can go on Skype without being terrified that the guy is going to confront me about the project. I really do feel awful about quitting on him, but it’s also true that I’ve been completely overwhelmed lately.

Overwhelmed by music.

Loony Chocolate Toes with Another Constitution

… That was my latest update on Twitter. Sounds very strange, right? You know you want to follow me… and when you do click the link to my Twitter page, linger for  a second on this one and leave me a comment or two! I’m actually thinking about making my blog have its own Twitter site, so that I can post when I have a new blog post and all that.

So, I woke up this morning and realized that in my dream, my grandpa had just died. It was kind of heavy to wake up on, and I still don’t really know what to do with it or anything. He is pretty old, and pretty frail, but it’s not like he’s imminent or anything. Still, it’s good to be prepared… and I also don’t feel like I have any unfinished business with him. Unless you count thanking him for all the money he’s ever given me, including my entire education– yeah, that would be good. It’s not like I’ve never thanked him before, and my family doesn’t really do outspoken verbal stuff anyway… but it might be nice at some point. I really value everything he’s given me and the rest of my family.

Good day. everywhere I turn, signs point to Haley, and I really miss her. She’s on the Grand Canyon right now on an epic rafting journey… she didn’t seem as excited as I thought someone who was on that kind of trip would be, but whatevs. I think she’ll have fun, but if she doesn’t, she gets to go straight to India afterwards! And then we send in our applications for an apartment, and that will be AMAZING… and then I move in!

I’m seriously considering going to Bumbershoot, the music festival in Seattle during the first weekend of September. Mainly it’s because Jason Mraz will be there… but also, tickets are extremely cheap. $80 for three days, and you can upgrade to about $200 (which is what most music festivals are) and get unlimited drinks in an air-conditioned lounge and stuff like that. I’m totally down. I don’t have anyone to go with or anything like that… but I’m fine going alone. I mean, I have mace.

So this next week I’m housesitting, and this place has a tv (we don’t get tv at my house; haven’t for most of my life) and I caught this special on Paul Simon on PBS tonight. It was so cool! They had Lyle Lovett, and James Taylor, and then at the end Paul Simon performed with Art Garfunkel (yay!) and then a song with Stevie Wonder. And when they got to Stevie Wonder’s verse, he faltered and they had to stop the song, and then Stevie Wonder said “I’m sorry–I don’t have my notes up here with me.” AHH, it was so funny. I so appreciate people who have a good sense of humor. My standards aren’t that high, but I am picky. In fact, my number one criteria for anyone I might date or hook up with is that I must find them funny. Take that.

I have a new writing job, which is great. Instead of getting $1 or $1.50 for a 500 word article that would take me and hour to write, I’m getting $3 for 300 word articles that generally take me a half hour to write. It’s so much more worth it, and the articles aren’t even that dull. My boss seems funny and easy to get along with, as well as pretty laid-back. The only downside is… it’s like, he’s too laid back. Let’s face it, I don’t have a life. So when I sign up for a writing job, I’m assuming that it’s going to take up most (or all) of my free time, so that I can really get the… buck for my bang. (…ok…) You know what I mean. If I’m going to do one of these jobs, I want to go all out.

Then again, this seems like the kind of job I could stick with for a long time (maybe even through school), so maybe it’s not so bad if it’s building up to a long term thing. And I told him I’m only in it for two weeks (while I’m housesitting, basically) so I’m thinking anytime after that I may get to make my own terms.

Anyway, I really must go to bed, before my chapped lips distract me too much and keep me from sleeping. I have to be up WAY early tomorrow (later today) to go kayaking with my mom. yay me.

Blog Much?

Ironically, I wrote this almost two years ago, when I wasn’t even interested in having a blog. WordPress isn’t even one of the sites I researched. It may not be of much help to someone who is already reading or keeping a blog, but the variation in some blog sites is interesting.

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So you got internet a while ago, and you now have email and instant messenger. What’s the next step? Instead of that old dog-eared journal, check out the options for a new, clean, organized blog space online. Blogging is also handy if you’re concerned about privacy. It can be completely anonymous (if you make up a false name) so you can really write anything at all. But what IS it?! A blog is an online journal, used for telling people more about yourself and what goes on in your life. People get to know you better, and you may gain some friends! However, none of these sites are dating services. You may add pictures, varying fonts, sizes, and colors of text, website links (HTML), and videos in almost any blog. People can leave comments, rate, or leave kudos on a blog. When you read a blog later and decide you didn’t really want to curse out your teacher, you can go back and edit or delete that entry (not possible with that old dog-eared journal…).

Blogs are being used for every purpose imaginable. Businesses have blogs where they may post news and articles, job options, things for sale or things wanted, or advice from entrepreneurs in starting and continuing a business. Magazines and newspapers use them to publish articles and the paparazzi post pictures of celebrities. Musicians and bands use them to share music and show talent, gain recognition, and sell albums.

Be aware that other people may be able to read your “diaries.” Because these sites are accessed by more people (and creepier people) than you may want to be reading your blog, all blog spaces have options for making an entry private. The Myspace inventor and advisor Tom posts messages reminding users that the internet is not always as safe as people think. On Myspace, there is an option of making your entire profile page invisible to anyone not on your friends list, but hacking is always a possibility and Tom encourages people to be aware of this. Safety comes with awareness, and the more ignorant the user, the more potentially dangerous the website.

You might want to explore other people’s blogs before you try one for yourself. There are thousands available and a simple, general search about music on Google will come up with countless blogs. Exercise caution, however blogs are not censored (for pictures or words) so if your internet browser doesn’t filter out explicit content, you could be caught off guard. Make sure that the blog site is free (if that’s what you’re looking for) and think before you write.

MySpace.com

MySpace, accessed by millions each day, is more of a friend space than a real blog space. On it, you can create a detailed page with your very own “www.myspace.com/yournamehere” link and any information you want. You can add friends (including well-known or obscure bands or artists, movie websites, or TV shows) who have accounts and write comments on one another’s pages, and send private messages (like emails) as well. Posting bulletins (which are shared with everyone on your friends list), instant messaging, and blogging all happen in MySpace. The blogs themselves aren’t put up front on the page; visitors to your page click on the blog title, which leads to the actual blog.(The Illuminati has a MySpace, too! www.myspace.com/ccailluminati)

Xanga.com

Before Myspace, the majority of blog users had a Xanga account. But now, Xanga users are in the minority. That doesn’t mean this simple site isn’t worthwhile, however. It’s got the bare minimum for a blog site, and sometimes that’s only what someone would want. The blogs are shown right on your main page, which you can design all you want. People may rate or comment on your blog and subscribe to it if they want, which means that they will be notified every time you publish a new blog entry.

Blogger.com

A more professional approach to blogging, this blogspace creates networks between friends and even coworkers. Taryn Broadwater, a writer for the Spokesman-Review, has a blog on Blogger.com, and though she uses it to write about home life and herself, she has a link to the Spokesman-Review website and her profession is displayed. In one blog, she mentions that though she doesn’t put her kids’ names or her husband’s name, she does post pictures of them and it might be easy for someone to find them. But she loves writing for fun (“The blog is a form of therapy for me”) and says there is a limit to paranoia.

Squarespace.com

This site isn’t free, which takes it up a notch in professionalism and probably gives it more credibility as a safe place to post your blogs. You can create your own web page with this system as well. The templates (or the your blog layout designs) are endless, as well as the fonts and colors. Paying for a blog may make it safer, but it might also be unnecessary. Organizations like The Wall Street Journal use Squarespace they can afford to use such a professional space to its full potential. If you are worried about safety, writing under a fake name is your best bet for staying anonymous.

Blogstream.com

Another free blog space, Blogstream has a chatroom and all the typical options for blogs. You may upgrade your blog and pay for it so that there are no advertisements displayed on the page and more room to write or post pictures. If you are viewing another person’s blog, you can click on “Family Filter” at the top of the page so that any inappropriate blog entry is not displayed. Or you can click on “Clean,” which omits anything offensive. Blogstream is still small and relatively unknown, but just as good as any blog space available.

Livejournal.com

This blogging option is another way to keep connected with friends and meet new people. The networking is based on location or similar tastes (but again, this is not a dating service…) or “communities” (groups with the same interests). This is a popular site because you may “post to your journal from anywhere!” which means that, with some phones, you may write a blog on your phone and upload it to the internet from there. Livejournal, which has existed since 1999 and has about 12 million users, is adding a search soon. You can use this to search for a blog topic, an author, communities, or anything else on the site. All of Livejournal’s features are free and signing up is easy.

Mulitply.com

Multiply is great for interacting and sharing your blog with only people that you already know. It’s very personal and specific to you get your own internet address, add your friends who have blogs, then comment with them right on your page. You can even simply import your email’s address book into your list of friends. “Live replies” on your site aren’t exactly instant messages, but they are very fast and enable a discussion of a blog. Multiply is one of the only sites that boasts about being very compatible with pictures, music, video, and HTML links. You can post pictures and HTML with almost any blog space, but music and videos are hard to put on a page without making the site slow or the page format different. The simplest form of Multiply is free, but extra features can be added for a monthly fee.

Search Engine Blogs

You can create blogs with most search engines now (such as Google, Yahoo!, and MSN) and most email providers. These are either private or shown on your profile. This is more convenient to some people, since with Yahoo! for instance, you can have an email account, instant messaging, music provider, and blog all with the same username in the same Yahoo! base. And you can always use these search engines to look for other blog spaces, since the options grow every day.

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Obligation

I know I need to write another entry before I go to bed. I’m absolutely exhausted, but I suppose I can do it.

I went to a Mozart concert in a park today. It was actually better than I thought it would be. I was able to work on some articles I was editing, and just have the live music as background. That was the best ever, because I can’t stand classical music when I’m just sitting in a chair staring at some violins, as I told my godmother in LA.

There was a Journey/Heart/Cheap Trick concert there, in LA, tonight. I was at a Mozart concert… but maybe someday I can go to a really sweet concert with people other than Washingtonian elitists, who actually pay $10 to sit on a lawn and listen to Mozart. But whatever. I had a good time and I saw a friend I hadn’t talked to in months, so that’s always nice.

The editing I was doing was the start of a freelance job, which is so great. I learned after I was done with all the articles that I’d just jumped into the editing without acquiring any details first, which I regret now, because I should have been more thorough. But I was just super excited!

Ever since I’ve been out of school, I haven’t done any writing or editing at all, and I’ve really missed it. I thought I’d fall out of practice and be really bad at it by the time school started again, but now I think I’ll be able to keep it up, which is fantastic.

Plus I have my dear old blog, which has somewhere around 55 whole hits right now!!! WOOHOO!!

Spread the word, lovely visitors!

“Final Thoughts”

This was part of a compilation of articles that all the senior editors (including me) of my high school newspaper wrote. The newspaper was ending, not just for the year, but until further notice. We were all heartbroken (even though we were all seniors and would be leaving anyway). We produced a fantastic paper and were very disappointed to hear that it would end after we left. So this is the “goodbye” article I wrote for the last edition of our paper, The Illuminati.

It was when I starter daydreaming about fantastic article leads like this one that I realised I wanted to go into journalism as a career. Leads can usually be placed in one of the following categories: sappy, questioning, ZAP!, yawn, news, bitter, me me me, you you you, or a combination of those.

For your entertainment, since you will never read another lead from me in The Illuminati, I will give you some outtakes for this article:

Sappy: Well, we editors have come a long way, but it’s time to put an end to the magic.

Questioning: What does one do when the publishing of her favorite paper comes to an end?

ZAP!: My beloved paper! Gone! No more! It is an ex-paper!

Yawn: Mrs. Smith just told us there might not be a paper next year.

News: On May 5, 2008, Journalism/Yearbook adviser Jane Smith announced the potential end of The Illuminati for the ’08-’09 school year.

Bitter: As if just not writing for the paper anymore weren’t enough, the administration has decided to shut down our precious paper altogether.

Me, me, me: I could die – I don’t know what will become of me if I can’t see my name in my school’s paper anymore!

You, you, you. You never know what you have until you have it taken away from you, and you won’t know how much you’ll miss the paper until you’re not reading it anymore.

And so on, and so forth.

The lead of an article is “a short summary serving as an introduction to a news story, article or other copy,” but you’ve probably figured that out. Obviously, the lead is probably the most important part of a story. It can make or break the other 500 words of an article, or it can make or break every reader’s opinion of the author.

The lead is “a guide or indication of a road, course, method, etc., to follow.” I can’t remember writing my first lead ever, but I’m sure while writing I wasn’t thinking it would automatically lead to my primary career choice. Or life in general.

The lead: an observation, some inspiration, a motivation. Fuel for action. Reason for change. A cause for the effect. The question for the resolution. Or, the roadmap for the action. The plan for the plot.

The body: The supporting scene. Details. Specifics. A blow-by-blow of conflicts. Whatever makes the outcome worthwhile. Everything that gives meaning to the point. An argument. A testimony of passion. An explanation, a legacy.

The conclusion: … I’ll be honest – I don’t know yet.

And what happens after? We begin again, of course. For there will always be another deadline or another incentive. Then begins the new cycle of creativity, of excitement and of craziness. Just like life, everything keeps moving. It may be disorderly (everyone has that really yucky, disappointing article every once in a while), and the outcome may be completely unsatisfactory.

As some great young prophet said, “any blank piece of paper is a world to be created, an idea to be stated or and emotion to be conveyed… [it's] a canvas just like Life; it’s ours to do with what we wish; it’s reserved for our imagination.”

So here we all are, each writing just one more lead for our adored Illuminati, paradoxically choosing the best beginning to end our editorial reign, choosing the best conclusion to commence the rest of our lives.

… And there you have it. That is all my work; I would appreciate it if no one stole any part of it. Thank you.

not just another wordpress blog.

I only just realized that at the top of my blog page, it says “Just another WordPress blog”… or something similar. Excuse me? I’d like to try really hard at this blog thing, since I can’t seem to keep a regular journal going at all, and because I really need to find some work and I’ve heard blogging can be a great outlet for that. It’s lamentable to have to admit, but the world (and especially the internet and cyberspace) is becoming such that if you don’t give someone money, they don’t consider you worth their time or energy… either to reply to or just to acknowledge. It goes without saying that that’s just not very fair.

Sure, there are tons of blogs. Hundreds. Thousands. But bloggers deserve more than that. Blogging takes some time for us, just for communicating and sometimes educating the general public. Of course, it’s hell for us, too, because obviously some of us don’t get the blog traffic that others do (and don’t deserve.)

I won’t go into a “good writing vs bad writing” argument (after all, who will argue with me…?) but that’s really what it boils down to. Some of us who deserve the press really don’t get it at all, while others are miles ahead only because they know how to post links in blog entries. I’m sorry, but BIG DEAL. Blogs make us vulnerable; obviously, anything that enters our minds may be on display. And cyberspace is a huge, cold world, if you hadn’t already figured that out.

Anyway, none of our pages should be “just another wordpress blog.” A blog shows just about as much individuality as one can display online at all. So show some respect, please.